Motivation & Mind Control

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A 7-Step Guide to Mind Control: How to Quit Begging and Make People Want to Help You

1. Do all the thinking for them
The worst mistake you can make when asking anyone for anything is telling them to “Think it over.”

Here’s why: people already have too much to think about.

Between their jobs, their family, and their own hobbies and friends, their mind is already stuffed, like a suitcase bulging at the sides. Add one more sock, and the whole thing will explode.

To avoid it, they “forget” about things that aren’t very important to them, or if they do think about you, they don’t think very hard. It’s not because they are lazy or stupid. They’re just busy, and you’re probably not very high up the priority list.

And so the best strategy is to not ask them to think.

Do it for them.

Instead of expecting them to see how your blog post will benefit their audience, explain it, and offer examples of similar posts that have done well in the past
Instead of asking them to host a webinar for you, setup the webinar, landing pages, and emails yourself, and send them as part of your pitch
Instead of begging a customer to write a testimonial from scratch, send them a dozen different examples to use as a guide
Be specific. Explain your reasoning. Offer proof. Tell them what to do next and why.

If you do it right, it won’t feel like asking at all. It’ll be more like advising.

And they’ll say yes. Not because of magical powers of persuasion, but because you’ve thought through everything, and it’s a no-brainer.

2. Start an avalanche
Creating a successful marketing campaign is a lot like starting an avalanche.

First, you climb up the mountain, and then you find the biggest boulder at the top, and then you sweat and grunt and strain to push the boulder over, and then you sit down and watch happily as the boulder goes crashing into other boulders, eventually bringing the whole side of the mountain down.

The lesson?

The first big yes is a pain in the butt to get, but if you get it from the right person, then getting all of the subsequent yeses is easy.

For example:

Getting a popular blogger to tweet your post is hard, but once they do, dozens or maybe even hundreds of people will retweet them
Convincing a leader in your niche to promote your product is tough, but once they do, everyone else will want to promote it too
Persuading a celebrity customer to give you a testimonial can be tough, but once you do, sales skyrocket, and getting further testimonials is easy
Of course, a lot of marketers recommend taking the opposite approach.

They tell you to start from the bottom and work your way up because it’s easier.

But really, it’s just an illusion. Yes, pushing over a small rock is easier than pushing over a boulder, but the boulder is a lot more likely to cause an avalanche. So while it’s more work in the beginning to get top people to help you, it’s actually less work in the long run, and the results are far, far greater.

3. Ask for an inch, take a mile
You’ve probably heard the expression, “Give them an inch, and they’ll take a mile,” right?

It’s supposed to be derogatory. It’s supposed to be a warning against appeasement. It’s supposed to protect you against getting taken advantage of.

But it’s also great marketing.

Whenever you’re asking for anything, never start by asking for everything upfront. Instead, start small. Make it easy to get started. Reduce the risk if it flops. Let them see the results for themselves.

And when it goes well, ask for more. And more. And more.

You might think that’s unethical, but if everything is going well, why not push for more? It’s not manipulation. It’s common sense.

For instance:

If you want to write a guest post for a popular blog, start by pitching the idea in one or two paragraphs, and then send them an outline, and then write the full draft of the post
If you want do a JV promotion with a leader in your field, start by asking them to email your launch content, to only 10% of their list, and than 50% of their list, and then 100%, and then a direct mail campaign
If you want your customers to give you case studies, start by asking for a 1-3 sentence blurb, and then ask for a half-page testimonial, and then talk about doing a two-hour webinar going in depth about their success
It’s not psychological trickery or anything like that. It’s smart business. No one likes to risk everything upfront, and by offering progressive levels of commitment, your chances of getting them to say yes go through the roof.
4. Always have a real deadline
The keyword is “real.”

All of us have had salesmen tell us, “Well, you’d better get back to me fast, because I have three more prospects coming this afternoon, and I don’t know how long it’ll last.” It’s BS, of course.

There are no clients, and there is no urgency. The salesman is just so desperate he’s willing to lie, not only costing him your trust, but probably the sale too.

And it’s not just salesmen.

How many times have other people handed you completely artificial deadlines, thinking it will motivate you to act? Our teachers do it, our bosses do it, our family does it, and without thinking about it, you’ve probably done it too.


Not only is it ineffective, but it’s totally unnecessary. Real urgency is easy to create. With a little thought, you can build it into your marketing. For example:

Instead of leaving a free report on your blog forever, tell everyone it will only be available for seven days, and then you’re going to start charging $7 for it. Not only will you get a lot more downloads, but other bloggers will be a lot more likely to promote it during the window
Instead of letting JV partners dictate when they will promote your product, schedule a launch, announce it to your list, and then forward partners the announcement, inviting them to participate
Instead of asking customers for testimonials whenever they get around to it, show them the timeline for an upcoming launch, including a specific date to send out testimonials. You need it by then, or you won’t be able to include it
Will some of them bow out, saying they are too busy right now, and they’ll catch you next time?

Sure, but it’s better than never getting started it all. And if you let other people dictate timelines, that’s exactly what will happen.

5. Give ten times more than you take
You know you’re supposed to give before you get, right? But what you might not know is how much to give.

A lot of marketers mistakenly assume it’s a 1:1 ratio.

Before you ask for a link, you should give a link. Before you ask for promotion, you should give a promotion. Before you ask for a testimonial, you should do one thing that deserves a testimonial.

But that’s wrong. Smart marketers use a 10:1 ratio, and not just in action, but in value:

If you want 100 visitors, send them 1,000
If you want $1000 in product sales, sell $10,000 of their products first
If you want one testimonial, do ten different heroic acts of customer service worthy of a testimonial
This isn’t about “You scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours.” It’s about generosity so overwhelming they can’t say no.

Yes, it’s a lot of work, but that’s the price of influence.

6. Stand for something greater than yourself
Imagine there are two homeless guys standing on a street corner.

The first guy has a normal, run-of-the-mill sign saying, “Spare a few dollars? God bless you.” The second guy, on the other hand, has a much more unusual sign: “Can’t afford to feed my family, and it’s tearing me apart. Please help, so I can stop feeling like such an awful Dad.”

Which one would you be more likely to help? The second one, right?

Forget giving him a few bucks. With a sign like that, you’d take him to the grocery store and buy him $200 worth of groceries. I know I would.

That’s the power of standing for something bigger than yourself. It makes people care.

And it applies to everything:

Instead of writing yet another how-to post, take a, stand on an important issue, arguing with both passion and unassailable logic
Instead of starting yet another me-too consulting business, create a movement, working tirelessly to change the lives of your customers
Instead of selling yet another step-by-step manual, sell a philosophy, filled with heroic examples to inspire your customers
Those are the types of things people want to talk about. They feel grateful just for having the chance to help you spread the word.

7. Be completely and utterly shameless
You want to know what separates a great marketer from a mediocre one?


I’m not referring to a lack of conscience, having a gregarious, extroverted personality, or any of the other ways we traditionally look at marketers. For the most part, those stereotypes are myths.

No, by shamelessness, I mean this:

An unshakable belief that what you are doing is good for the world and the willingness to do anything to bring it into being.

When you believe in your content, you don’t publish it and forget it. You promote it day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year, working tirelessly to spread the message to everyone who needs to hear it, and refusing to rest until they do.

When you believe in your product, you don’t balk at sales. You revel in it. Not because you’re greedy or desperate or egotistical, but because you know your product will help them, and so it’s your duty to get them to buy. Whatever it takes.

When you believe in your charity, you don’t beg for donations. You demand them. You grab people by the shoulders and look them in the eyes and tell them what you’re doing is changing the world, and it’s time for them to step up and do their part.

It’s not about money. It’s not about glory. It’s not even about legacy.

It’s about falling in love. It’s about being enchanted. It’s about seeing a vision so beautiful you can’t help but fight to make it real.

Do you have a vision like that? Something worth getting up every day and fighting for?

If you do, you can accomplish damn near anything.

And if you don’t, well …

What’s the, point?

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