How to Be a Desirable Boyfriend or Girlfriend Who Wins Reciprocated Love
Having knowledge of the skills needed to be a kind and gentle boyfriend or girlfriend is valuable today if one wants to pursue an enduring relationship. If one does not know how to be kind and gentle, then it is much harder for him to have his love reciprocated. In many cases, this is why people go from one relationship to the next for years without ever successfully winning their beloved’s love.
First and foremost, a lover should use kind words and language at all times. If one person demeans another, the condescending person deserves to lose the respect of the one he or she puts down. Abusing others with words, hands, or deeds is the wrong way to conduct any relationship.
Both boyfriends and girlfriends alike should first determine whether or not the relationship they are in is right for them. Partners need to know whether they share mutual values or whether they can agree to be different. Once you both have decided that you truly do not want to be alone and that you are with the right person, it is time to work on some relationship skills that will both please each other so you will continue to share the mutual love for years to come.
The first way to make your beloved happy entails understanding where your beloved is coming from emotionally and applying such knowledge in order to improve your relationship. You need to know something about the way she grew up and what her values are. It is not necessarily important to have come from the same background if you can embrace the learning that comes from different experiences. Perhaps your loved one has not developed the same values as the people around him, or maybe he wants you to be a part of that cultural setting in which he was brought up. After all, he has always been accustomed to a certain lifestyle. Is your boyfriend looking for new ways of doing things to break from tradition, or does he prefer to live the traditional life that he has always known? Is he a liberal, a conservative, or a middle-of-the-road person, and can you accept his values just as they are? Although you need not come from the same background, having completely different values can cause trouble if you have not made up your mind to accept differences.
Relationships are not easy, but one thing is certain: There will always be trials and obstacles along the way. If both of you are willing to go out of your way to deal with hurdles, there is a good chance your relationship will last a lifetime, but if you cannot deal with challenges, or if your partner cannot deal with unexpected complications, this means one or both of you are not invested in the relationship. Simple disadvantages might ruin everything for those who are not devoted to success in the love-life. Therefore, ask yourself if you are willing to make the necessary sacrifices that come with commitment.
You cannot force your personal values on someone else who does not share them. Values, like hobbies, do tend to draw people together. The most you can hope is that you will grow together rather than apart if your values are very different. If you can seek commonalities, they will be the glue that binds two people in love. Conversely, if you fight over differing values and preferences, there is less chance that your commitment will endure.
Coming from the same country does not ensure that two people share the same values as it is quite possible that someone from another culture will also share your values if you happen to have similar personalities and similar outlooks on life. On the other hand, it might be easier to get along with a girlfriend from your own hometown.
I have often heard that opposites attract, and there may be some people who enjoy being with people who are very different in terms of personality. On the other hand, opposites tend to argue more than people who have similar personalities. Sharing a similar personality enables couples to find calmness that eases their minds. Differing personalities tend to have to work out more disagreements along the way.
A good boyfriend or girlfriend should be supportive of his or her partner. By listening well to what the other one is saying and by accepting the other person’s emotions, one tells the other that he or she is highly valued. Listening well is a form of respect. Committed partners should never make fun of the other person’s feelings, ideas, words, or fears. Moreover, a boyfriend or girlfriend need not complain about the beloved’s body or general appearance. This only demoralizes the other person and distracts from the intellectual and emotional constructs of the conversation. Putting down another person for her ideas or body only shows that the verbal abuser is not worth having as a partner. Furthermore, any form of bullying by a partner indicates that he is not good marriage material. Demoralization is a real deal breaker!
Good relationships begin with superior ethics. For example, an ethical boyfriend or girlfriend wants a positive outcome for the beloved, which includes making them feel good. She does not seek to hurt him by demeaning him or by spending money irresponsibly. She tries to help him the best she can by doing little favors just as he tries to help her similarly. An exemplary girlfriend aids her boyfriend in increasing self-esteem while she shows him how he is appreciated, just as he should do the same. Never does she put him down in public or in private, but she does take time to express important opinions in an appropriate manner. Nitpicking about every little detail as a way of criticizing only ends relationships so she avoids such nagging. After all, no one is perfect, not even the fault-finder; thus, bashing another person shows no respect.
In order to win reciprocated love and desirability, a boyfriend should listen well to his girlfriend as she expresses her innermost thoughts. This holds true for both sexes and builds a strong bond in most relationships. Listening and accepting others are the foundations of true friendship which, in turn, become the necessary groundwork for everlasting love. Boyfriends and girlfriends must always try to be respectful and speak well of each other in public. When any obstacle is presented to them, they should be determined to work it out as that willingness to work at resolving a problem shows they are invested in the relationship. Once a couple has made such an extraordinary investment in a partnership, this means they care. Couples, in the best case scenario, contribute to helping each other live happily ever-after. More than anything else, couples bond well when both hold each other in high esteem, when they truly respect, admire, and cherish one another. A boyfriend or girlfriend usually has such favorable consideration for the beloved partner when he or she demonstrates merit, as evidenced by good standards of behavior and ethics. Such standards typically enhance desirability while inviting long-lasting, reciprocal love.