Ch. 02: Consider These Conversation Techniques

Ch. 02:
Consider These Conversation Techniques


The opening move of having potent conversations with prospects goes on before you meet the candidate. If you’ve expertise in your market, tap into your insider knowledge. Otherwise, explore what motivates them.

Some Pointers

By now you ought to have a picture coming forth of who you think your ‘ideal’ lead is … or who you wish it to be. Depending upon the nature of your business, you may even be able to write a description of your lead. “My target lead is a middle-class woman in her middle years who’s married and has youngsters, and is environmentally conscious and physically fit.” Based on the numbers you exposed in your research, above, you may even know, for instance, that there are about 9000 of those potential leads in your area! It may well be that 3000 of them are already loyal to a rival, but that still leaves 6000 who aren’t, or who haven’t yet bought the product from anybody. Do the research!

So how do you stay calm, composed and sustain confidence in tough surroundings? Here is some information to think about.

See yourself as a dartboard. Everything and everyone else around you may become darts, at one point or another. These darts will crush your confidence and pull you down in ways you won’t even remember. Don’t let them crush you, or get the best of you. So which darts should you avoid?

Dart 1: Negative Work Environment
Mind the “dog eat dog” hypothesis where everyone else is pressing simply to get ahead. This is where non-appreciative people commonly thrive. No one will value your contributions even if you miss lunch and dinner, and stay up late. Most of the time you must work too much without getting help from anybody else. Stay out of this; it will ruin your self-esteem. Competition is at stake anyplace. Be fit enough to compete, but in a levelheaded competition that is.

Dart 2: Other People’s Action
Bulldozers, brown nosers, gossips, bellyachers, backstabbers, snipers, the walking wounded, controllers, naggers, bellyachers, exploders, patronizers, sluffers… all these sorts of people will pose bad vibes for your self-esteem, as well as to your confidence strategy.

Dart 3: Changing Surroundings
You can’t be a light-green bug in a brownfield. Changes challenge our confidence. It tests our flexibility, adaptability and changes the way we think. Changes will make life hard for a while, it may cause tension but it will help us discover ways to better our selves. Change will always be around; we must be adaptable to it.

Dart 4: Past Experiences
It’s all right to cry and say “ouch!” If we have pain. But don’t let pain metamorphose into fear. It might grab you by the tail and swing you around. Treat each failure and error as a lesson.

Dart 5: Negative World View
Consider what you’re looking at. Don’t surround yourself with all the negativeness of the world. In building confidence, we have to learn how to make the best out of the worst situations.

Dart 6: Purpose
The way you are and your behavioral traits are said to be a mixed end product of your genetic traits, your raising, and your environmental surroundings like your spouse, the company you keep, the economy or your occupation. You have your own individuality. If your father is a failure, it doesn’t mean you have to be a failure too. Learn from others experience, so you’ll never have to make the same mistakes.

Now and again, you may wonder if some people are born leaders or positive thinkers. NO. Becoming positive, and remaining positive is a choice. Building confidence and drawing lines for confidence is a choice, not a rule or a talent. God wouldn’t descend from heaven and tell you – “Tom, you may now have the permission to build confidence and persuade people.”

In life, it’s hard to remain confident particularly when matters and individuals around you continue pulling you down. When we get to the battleground, we ought to pick out the correct weapons and armor to use and pick those that are unassailable. Life’s choices provide us with more options. Along the way, we’ll get hit and bruised. And wearing an unassailable armor ideally means ‘self-change’. The sort of change comes from inside.

Building confidence will eventually lead to self-improvement, which will lead to being able to persuade people. If we start to become responsible for who we are, what we have and what we accomplish people will take note. It’s like a flame that should gradually spread like a brush fire from the inside out. When we grow self-esteem, we take charge of our mission, values, and discipline. Confidence brings about self-improvement, true assessment, and determination. So how do you start setting up the building blocks of self-esteem? Be positive. Be content and happy. Be appreciative. Never miss a chance to compliment. A positive way of living will help you establish self- esteem.

A good way to begin your internal preparation is with a look at your capabilities. That means connecting with your strengths as well as your weaknesses. You’ll find it truly empowering to discover, and list out, what you have to provide. It’s likewise a good idea to know what your short- and long-term goals are.

As well, you need to comprehend communication, both spoken and unspoken.

A simple exercise that will help you answer these questions will likewise help you have a look inside yourself and begin to consider what you want “more of” and what you want “less of” in your life. People commonly perform at a higher level if they’re fulfilled with what they do.

It’s a fact: individuals are pulled to self-confident people. The reason is that it signals a high status. And we all know that individuals are highly attracted to status. The important thing here is that nearly 90 % of your approach-success depends on your body language, your tone, and timing.

That means you have to dominate those areas initially. Only a strong and lucid body language will demonstrate confidence. But what does “strong and lucid body language” mean? It means that you:

  1. Stand up straight. 
  2. Smile. You’re the alpha, but you likewise have to demonstrate you’re friendly. 
  3. Keep your shoulders and head up 
  4. Don’t lean on the wall. A strong individual doesn’t need protection. 
  5. Don’t hold anything in front of your chest. 
  6. Always talk loud and clear. 
  7. Lean back. You’re the one getting information. Never lean in. 
  8. Take up room. Live big. 
  9. Take your hands of your pockets. Instead of looking cool, it looks like you’re insecure. 
  10. Move slowly. Never pause. Take your time.
  11. Speak slowly. Your voice is a powerful weapon. 
  12. Look people straight in the face.
  13. Don’t touch your face. 
  14. Don’t use stupid hand gestures. 
  15. Know how your body language resonates. 

You might be surprised at how your phrasing may imply either confidence or insecurity. Many individuals version politeness with insecurity. They use words such as if, may, could, and perhaps in an effort to be polite when those words frequently ring of insecurity.

Instead, select words that send signals of confidence: when, will, would, and certainly. It’s crucial that individuals get the sense that you believe in yourself. After all, if you don’t, why should they? The following illustrations contrast insecure and confident styles:

Insecure: If I don’t hear from you, I’ll call to see if we might meet.
Confident: I’ll call you next week to see when we may meet.

Insecure: I hope that you’ll find my business desirable for you.
Confident: I’m confident that I may help you.

Insecure: I might be a good choice for you.
Confident: I’m the one for you.

Insecure: Hopefully we might get together to talk.
Confident: Let’s meet to talk.

Insecure: Perhaps I may meet with you.
Confident: I’d like to get together with you.

Insecure: Maybe sometime next week we may find the time to meet.
Confident: Next week is a great time for me to meet with you.

Get the point? If you’re tempted to utilize a word or phrase that rings of insecurity, resistant opt for the confident manner.

Showing sincerity might be a tricky thing. You need to utilize words and phrases that imply sincerity without you sounding artificial. These 7 tips will help you express sincerity:

  1. It’s all right to start a few sentences with I, but don’t overdo it. A conversation that becomes too I-focused, is apt to draw a response like, “I, I, I! Doesn’t this guy ever consider anyone except himself?” 
  2. Utilize a concrete language. Refer to particulars you’ve learned, research from your own experience. If appropriate, use precise numbers, names, and places instead of generalities. For example, “I can envision a ten percent growth in sales” is much better than “I can envision sales growth in your business.” 
  3. Speak specifically to the prospects goals, challenges, mission statement, or anything that’s relevant to the company. For example, “I’d like to be a part of opening your eyes to what you are able to accomplish.” 
  4. Use the prospects name. 
  5. If you have a humorous tone throughout, break that tone from time to time with a comment like “Seriously, I know I can …” or “Joking aside, there are a lot of issues ….” 
  6. Utilize an assertive (however not aggressive) tone in your closing that lets the individual know you’re sincere about wanting them to sign on. For instance, “I’ll contact you next week to follow up on this proposal.” 
  7. Say thank you in a simple and honest way toward the end. Let your potential prospect know that you appreciate her attention.