2 – Avoiding Negative Personality Traits

3 – Avoiding Negative Personality Traits

1. Avoid rigidity and stubbornness.

Being stubborn often means it’s your way or the highway. You see things in black and white, and have a rigid sense of how things are or should be.
  • Imagine that things can be confusing, unclear, and gray. And that’s okay.
  • Imagine alternative ways of understanding a situation or person. Avoid assuming that there is no alternative way of thinking.

2. Exercise patience rather than anger.

Anger and anxiety happens to everyone. You may feel out of control at times, or like you don’t know what to do with your emotions. Find ways to stay calm and patient.
  • Identify ways to control your anger.
  • Look at what triggers your frustration, and find ways to reduce these stressors.
  • Instead of thinking about how much something makes you anxious and angry, take a minute. Breathe. Imagine yourself in a calm and relaxed place.

3. Help others more.

Do you avoid sharing with others? Or seem to always want to put your needs ahead of others for some reason? Break this habit of selfish behavior, and focus on how you can help others more.[8]
  • Do things that you normally would avoid or complain about. Help others that need your help.
  • Focus first on how you can help those closest to you–your family, relatives, friends, neighbors, classmates, or co-workers.
  • Branch out of your comfort zone, and consider volunteering your time to others. Give back to your community.

4. Speak up more.

Learn to stand up for yourself and others. Shyness can be hard to overcome, and takes practice. The more you try, the better you will be with time. Learn to say what you want to say without fear of rejection or judgment.
  • Consider taking a public speaking course. There are also many meetings nationwide via Toastmasters that help you learn public speaking: https://www.toastmasters.org/
  • If you are in school, there may also be debate classes or other opportunities to learn public speaking.
  • Try talking more often with acquaintances through school, social gatherings, work. Build your communication skills.

5. Stop comparing yourself too much to others.

Everyone wants what they don’t have. You may see someone who’s happier, smarter, and better looking that you, and wish that you could be them. If you continue to dwell on what you don’t have, you miss out on appreciating what you do have.[9]
  • Instead of wishing for things to be better, be grateful for you’ve got. Remember at least three things each day that make you grateful for your life.
  • Appreciate what the world has to offer rather than fixating on how you’ve been ill-treated.

4. Believing in Yourself

1. Remember that each person is unique.

You don’t have to pretend to be someone that you’re not. Be true to a personality that fits you, and that feels natural to you. Uniqueness in your personality is itself an attractive quality.
  • Avoid seeing your personality as static. You will likely change over time. You may become less shy. You may become more open-minded. Or maybe, you become more stubborn as you grow older.
  • Whatever your personality is or becomes, it is adaptable. It is uniquely yours, and you have the ability to adapt it, change it, or keep it as is.

2. Find your inner happiness.

Ultimately, your personality may tied to your sense of happiness. You may wonder how you can change your personality to be a happier and healthier you. It starts with finding your inner happiness. What gives you peace? What makes you feel calm, relaxed, and rested?
  • Learn ways to cultivate happiness in yourself.
  • Do relaxing activities. Meditate. Listen to music. Take a walk in nature. Take time for yourself.

3. Focus on loving yourself.

Remember that developing a sense of yourself and your own unique personality starts and ends with loving yourself. Appreciate who you are and what you have to offer to others. Believe in yourself.[10]
  • Avoid negative talk or thinking. If there are others putting you down, avoid defining yourself on their terms. You determine who you are.
  • Find supports that boost your positive personality traits. Find others that welcome you, and make you feel loved. Share with them your concerns.
  • Be kind to yourself every day.